I hesitate to write this because of the self-accountability that will naturally come from it. But, recently I got so mad that there’s no choice but for me to do something about it, unless I want to live like Oscar the Grouch.
M, “show me your angry face”. As M practices his emotions I wonder if you, like me, ever get so mad that your body temperature rises? Do your kids ever get so angry that their faces turn red? Do you or your kids ever seem like you’re just stewing in anger, unable to get out? M will often say that you should “walk away” from the situation for a moment when asked to show an angry face or if he's asked what he can do when he's angry. He’s also practicing taking deep breaths when he gets angry. Teaching him these things helps me to do them more too because his little eyes are always watching me. I want him to see good things.
What do you do with the mad that you feel When you feel so mad you could bite? When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong... And nothing you do seems very right? -Mr. Rogers
What are you getting mad about? Most often, my kids get angry about small things like “He took my toy!” If I get angry it's probably because my boys were treating each other unkindly or did something I asked them not to for the millionth time. J gets angry and cries when we leave the room. He seems to say with his cry, “It’s better when we’re all here!” Agreed, kiddo. If only life worked where there was nothing that caused anger in us. When I see them get angry, it’s easy for me to view it as a trivial type of anger, whiny and selfish. This type of anger annoys me to no end. I get fed up with it. This is when I need to take deep breaths.
But, anger, when it comes from God’s perspective and not ours, can be seen as good if it acts as a signal that something needs to change. We may not notice that change is needed without this strong emotion. Righteous anger can be a sign that something is not Right. What’s gotten me angry lately is the idea of Christians (and sometimes me too) living casually, like their faith is a hobby. It’s not Right! What is Right is loving God with all of who you are. I feel like many Christians are neglecting the hard stuff like justice, mercy, and faithfulness. I haven’t felt this extreme level of righteous anger before. What can I do when it seems like I’m just stewing in anger, unable to get out, stuck in it? I can pray for boldness. Jesus’ kind of boldness.
Jesus got angry. Sometimes His boldness came in the form of actions like flipping tables. Sometimes through conversations like when He talked to the Pharisees. Sometimes the time wasn't right and Jesus taught His disciples to show restraint. Jesus showed restraint His whole life. But Jesus didn't just leave people in the sin. He died sacrificially for everyone's mistakes, even those who hurt Him most. M asked with puppy dog, concerned eyes, “Did the people who put Jesus on the cross hurt Him?” Yes, they did, M. But He didn't stay hurt and it happened so that all people can be with Him. Since He did that, what can I do? Should I shy away from suffering or speaking boldly against what He says is wrong because being comfortable, being entertained, not losing friends, and me being right is more important? No. Should I do something? Yes.
I can practice Jesus’ type of boldness. I can teach my kids about it through them seeing my actions and through conversations. I can use righteous anger for good with a Jesus-like boldness.
Boldness can lead me to pray. Jesus routinely made sure to talk to His Father. To make God my best friend I need to pray about something more than I talk about it to others. I often need to pray for a softened heart. I need to pray to get right with God, for Him to open my eyes to things I don’t even notice, then pray like I expect God to answer my prayer. I need to pray with urgency like my life, the life of my friends, or the world is ending tomorrow (guess what, it might). I pray that God gives me peace about everyone and everything in His capable hands. I believe that prayer works.
On a get-out-of-the-house-so-we-don’t-go-insane drive, my husband noticed 2 cars road raging, passing each other, driving very close to each other, and putting others in danger. I prayed, "God, calm their hearts". My husband and I both noticed that their behavior immediately lessened. They backed off each other. I believe in the power of prayer!
I will continue to pray for big and little things and strive to act boldly when necessary, even if I don't see any change right now because I believe that God hears my prayers and sees my anger and has called me to love others by thinking of them and doing whatever it takes to put them at the feet of Jesus. If I don't pray for myself and others and if I don't trust that Jesus' type of boldness can bring change, what am I losing out on? What are they losing out on because of my lack of boldness?
Boldness can lead me to trust God and do whatever it takes to make Him and His perspective the center of our lives. The more I trust in Him the more He will give me His perspective and that will overflow to others around me. I want the purpose of my life to be dictated by my trust in God. My spiritual gift is encouraging individuals towards Christ. The more I do this the more I feel close to God. The closer I feel to God the more I trust Him with in my life because I’ve seen how He’s shown up in the lives of my friends.
Boldness can lead me to act towards change. As a believer, it's time to really surrender my life to who God wants me to be - a person who boldly lives the Truth in every area of life.
“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us,” A.W. Tozer.
Do I believe God has the power to change what I think is wrong in my life? In my family? In the world? God is God. He can change anything and everything in an instant. He can change my heart. He can change their heart. He can change the situation. What can I do with the anger I can get when me or people I know are not letting the Holy Spirit bring the change? It starts with surrendering it to God and praying fervently, but it doesn't end there.
Boldness can lead me to care for people in a real way. To strike up or continue conversations that need to be had with strangers or with friends without fear of rejection or disapproval. This is easier said than done, at least for me. If I have God’s perspective than the relationship my friend or neighbor has with Jesus is more important than the one I have with them. So if I truly care about them I must do whatever it takes to put them at the feet of Jesus. This may be in the form of encouraging them to cry out to God in their anger and sadness, to challenge them to spend more time with God, or confront them on something they are doing/saying that God commands against. I would want someone to do this for me.
Boldness can lead me to do things in a new way. It can help me to think outside the box in ways to love and serve. Boldness can help get me off my couch and into the mission field. Although if God is calling me to help change the world from my couch, I’m going to go for it. God has different things for each of us to do. Let's say, "Yes!" If my schedule or job feels burdensome and if I feel like God is calling me elsewhere, boldness can give me the courage to change what I’ve grown accustomed to in a radical way in order to obey God. Or it can give me the courage to talk to people in my workplace in a different way, a way that points more to Jesus. In whatever the circumstance, I want to be motivated by love. I tell M, “Today I want to think of how I can bless whoever I see”. I seek to listen to God, crying out to Him to tell me what I need to do to be more lovingly bold. Jesus' instruction wasn’t to, above all else, be nice and careful of other’s feelings. If I see someone doing something against God’s commands (to love Him and others) I should challenge that without holding back. If I see a way to insert Jesus into someone’s life, I should do it without holding back. If Jesus was with me, what would he do? His example was to feed the hungry, clothe the cold, and help the hurting, even for those that others wouldn’t dare go near. He spoke against the knowledgeable, but also corrected those close to Him, sometimes quite firmly. My desire is to be able to do the same, despite my fears. I know I can give them to God. I know that I don’t. Jesus’ way was lovingly bold so that as many as possible can come to know and love Him more. There's nothing better and there's no time to waste. I am called to care for people like Jesus does, even if I don’t agree with them or what they are doing. I can pray that their hearts will be changed to be more like Jesus’. This new boldness may not be what people expect to see from me. Boldness might make those around me stop what they're doing and say, “Why is she doing that!?” That’s my chance to point them to Jesus in my answer. If this happens it’s one clue that I’m on the right track because I am not of this world.
If I'm angry, and it's anger towards what Jesus would be angry about, what am I called to do? If I follow Jesus' example I am called to be bold in my actions and words. To boldly love always. And to boldly do everything with God's view in mind. Righteous anger can be a sign that it's time to do something different. Whether it's my own friend or a stranger who calls themselves Christian. If they are acting against God I am called and given the power by the Holy Spirit to speak out and act boldly. Like Jesus. Imagine if everyone acted boldly like Jesus. Individually and without the Holy Spirit we can’t do much, but we, as a Church and with God strengthening us, what can we not do?
Jesus,
Help us discern righteous from unrighteous anger.
May we desire to be people after Your own heart and boldly do whatever it takes to become more and more and more like You. Give us Your boldness. Put people in our path that can help us and challenge us to do that. To be that.
Give us Your perspective of what is most important and where our true home is, in Heaven.
Amen.