I'm taking a moment to step away from the way I usually structure my posts because I had a particularly strong Holy Spirit speaking moment that I want to share.
Ever since watching the movie, "Just Mercy", I've had the picture in my head of people being stuck in a corner with no way out and demonic creatures trying to tear them limb from limb. It's scary stuff.
As I was baby-wearing J, trying to get him to sleep, the Holy Spirit put that corner picture in my head again. Side note: I've had excellent God time recently while helping the baby sleep, total shift in perspective - "Ugh, just go to SLEEP!" to a refreshing "Ahhh, Holy Spirit, keep talking!" This time, in the corner picture, it seemed like everyone on the planet was in the corner, whether it be individual/institutionalized racism, corrupt government and businesses, government and education agencies not caring about the well-being of its people, or people being scared for their lives because of the pandemic. It's even possible to be your own monster pushing you into the corner by complaining without even a hint of hope and letting worries overtake you without letting God into that process. The list of things that feel like they're trapping us and trying to tear us apart could go on and on! The causes of suffering seem endless. No one is excluded from the scary corner. The terrors force us to confront our worst fears. And, echoed from what I hear from others, it seems like there is no way out. We've always been swayed by the demons. My eyes are open more and more to the realities of this world. The spiritual battle is hitting closer and closer to home. It's scary stuff.
I started questioning, "Where is God in all this?" Is He going to come crashing through the corner walls like a knight in shining armor to save the day? Yes and no. Jesus is our great Servant Leader with a mission of rescuing everyone from sin, but not from the troubles of just one day. His Plan is bigger than ours and is to be trusted above our own. Is He letting the terror monsters face you so you can learn to say, "I am here for such a time as this"? So you can grow to trust in God's strength above your own? So God can use you to show others what that Trust looks like? So you can help others through the same thing that you've gone through?
As J was finally drifting off into a beautiful sleep I put my hand on the yellow wall of his room. The calming thought that the Holy Spirit put into my head was one of true security. God is as real to me as the wall my hand was resting on. I got the picture in my head that God is the corner in my imagining, it felt like a revelation. He is the walls, the foundational floor, and the ceiling. He always has been and always will be. No crumbled, destroyed ruins for this structure. The boundary of His walls may seem like a trap to be stuck with the terrible demons, but we'd be running forever without those strong walls to lean on. The demons have always been there. The fact that they are now pushing us into a corner can be seen as our chance to show off the integrity of the walls supporting us. We will grow and trust the walls that have always been there or we will let ourselves be torn apart. The walls are and will always be our steady thing to hold on to if we choose to face away from the demons and towards what's actually been with us all along. The walls give us peace because they will never break down from the weight of the demon's tormenting behavior. The walls are something to lean our weary bones against. But, there's an ongoing spiritual battle in the corner. I already know who wins in the end. Do you? Do you live like that's true? Do I?
I felt immediate peace after getting this last big picture of God's strength. I love those Holy Spirit moments that can turn everything around by reminding me of who God really is. When have you had one of those? Let me know and have courage, friend. Because there's a strong wall behind you.
Lord,
May we turn to You in times of trouble. May we find supernatural rest when leaning against Your Strength. May we stand firm with our feet planted firmly on Your Truth.
May we delight in the fact that You never change and will always BE.
When we feel like there's nothing to do but collapse under the extreme pressure of decisions and not knowing what to do, may we feel Your Presence behind us, beneath us, and over us.
Amen.