Manna for 3!

  Manna for 2 has officially become Manna for 3! We've had another baby boy! We are deep in newborn snuggles and sleepless nights, trying our best to remember that hard is not the same as bad, which has been on repeat in my head for the last year. 

Some might ask why we took the life-changing leap to have another child after we thought we were done, after we'd gotten rid of all the baby stuff, and when life was challenging enough with 2 to teach about Jesus. Why would we let more “hard” into our lives? Let me try to explain…

God changed our minds.

That sums it up, really. I don't feel like I would necessarily have chosen this path on my own. Overnight my thoughts completely shifted from ”never” to “we could do that”, from “I'm afraid of that” to “I'm strong." I prayed about it privately for a week before bringing it up to my husband because it was such a sudden and big change. It seemed like such a big shift had to come from God, but I was scared of change. I asked my husband to pray about it for a week before we discussed it together. I wanted to make sure we were on the same page and both sought God’s will in the matter. We decided to move forward. And had an ectopic pregnancy. It was easy to fall into gloomy, doubt-filled thinking, fearing that we hadn't correctly followed the path God had laid out. But we felt like that wasn't the end, so we rested and healed and tried again. I prayed that if God wanted us to have this baby then He would have to make it happen. And the first month of trying again, He did! Pregnancy and labor was hard and filled with pain and sometimes the doubting thoughts continued but it didn't last forever and it led to a bundle of joy who we love and who God has great plans for. 

With adding a third child to our lives I am refusing to let fear rule me, I'm saying yes to obedience to God, and I'm acknowledging that hard, indeed, is not the same as bad. 

Manna is the substance God provided for His people when they couldn't provide for themselves, when they were in a hard time, see Exodus 16. I hope and pray that God will equip me to daily be what these three boys need as I guide them to the feet of their Creator who loves them most and who has great plans for them. Manna in the Bible was also a test of faith- would they trust that God would provide enough each day? Would they obey God’s instructions? This is also a daily choice for my sons and I. 

As the Israelites didn't know what was waiting for them in the Promised Land, I didn't know what kind of pregnancy, labor, and baby I would have. But the beautiful thing is that God is worthy of trusting and of our obedience. He's holding our hand and guiding us, may we hold on tight and never let go.