Looking Back, Resting Forward

As I look back on 2025 and reflect on how it went, I see both ups and downs—but God’s faithfulness throughout it all.

There was a new baby. There was world travel. And there was the continued juggling of everything else. From the outside looking in, it looks like I crushed it in 2025. “You did all that!?" people would say. From the inside, I might even agree with the “exceptional” label—giving birth without an epidural, traveling internationally with a five-month-old, and staying home alone with two young kids while husband and oldest son jet off to an international mission trip are not small things.

But when I look a little closer, I see more than accomplishments.

From the inside, I see cracks—exhaustion, anger, and discontentment. Should it be like that? No. But will my year always have cracks, no matter what, because I live in a broken world and am a broken person? Yes.

And yet, there is hope.

Jesus fills my cracks with gold. He makes something beautiful from my mess and my imperfect attempts at a good life. Praise God that I can trust Him to bring beauty from ashes and to give me new mornings to try again when I don’t get it right.

Last year, I wrote here that I wanted to thrive in 2025. That was my word for the year. I started out well—with a list, reflections, and intentional practices to help guide that journey. Newborn days and international travel added plenty of bumps along the thriving road, but it mattered that I had a foundation to begin with.

As I look ahead to 2026, I feel led to strive less and rest more in God’s love.

So my word for the year will be contentment.

I want to feel peaceful within my busy schedule. I want to feel content when I walk into my home and play with my kids—even when the house isn’t clean, the boys are fighting, and time feels like it’s moving too fast. God has given me such sweet gifts, and I want to enjoy them without feeling hurried, angry, or like I’m constantly falling short.

I want to rest in God’s love.

There is tension here. I believe there always will be.

There is the tension between contentment—going with the recurring rhythm of each day—and keeping an eagle eye, actively watching for the opportunities God places in front of me to love others, both inside and outside my home. There is tension between staying in my rhythms and being willing to step out of them for someone else.

There is also tension between getting things done and being okay with what has gotten done.

I want to be a good steward of each day God gives me. And when I lay down to sleep each night, I want to feel content with what I did that day—knowing it’s okay that I didn’t do everything, knowing I lived the best “me” I could, knowing I loved those around me well, and trusting God with the rest.

When these tensions feel heavy, I remember Jesus.

Jesus is both God and man. His kingdom is here—and not yet. He is just and merciful. In Him, I see how to live faithfully within tension, not escape it.

May He be my guidepost this year.

And may I rest in His love—a love that acts, a love that redeems, a love that fills cracked places with gold.

Happy 2026!