A friend asked me how I know that my 3 year old son loves me. I had to think about it to answer with more than a, “I just know”. We all say “I love you” in my family, but how is it demonstrated? M often says, “I want you” when he’s feeling lonely during the middle of the night or when I’ve been away helping J get a nap in. Sometimes he even says it when I’m just on the other side of the room. He longs for quality, eye to eye time. That’s how he feels and gives love. I’m honored and try to cherish that he wants this time with me, rather than playing off on his own.That time is coming sooner than I want. I value quality time as well. I love a good play time all together or lounging on the couch all together. My family’s days feel smoother and our faces more full of joy when we take the time to love each other in a way that connects our souls.
Manna:
Explore every member of your family’s love language and plan/seek out ways to love each other daily, even if just in little ways. Don’t expect your child’s love languages to stay the same their whole life. Continually explore who God made your child to be. Pray for the Holy Spirit to help you know your family members better.
Pray that you can let go of the tasks that may not really need to be done right now in order to spend eye to eye time with your family. Or figure out ways to do tasks with your children. Discuss with your spouse each of your expectations on what needs to be done around the house in a day so that you can have the mental freedom to let unnecessary things go.
Memorize Ephesians 4:32 as a family. Consider setting up a “Catch Kindness” jar where you put in a type of token when someone catches someone else in the family saying/doing something kind. The “reward” is seeing how the jar has been filled up, or perhaps some quality time together. Some things may go unseen, but God sees everything and loves when His children follow His commands.
Sometimes our expectations of the day don’t seem to line up. I might want to get many things done when M only wants me with him. Sometimes I redirect him or sigh and say, “I’m right here”. Sometimes he’s ok with that and sometimes he’s not. He definitely lets me know, which sometimes makes me want to wear earplugs, especially when J decides to copy the loud upset sounds. Loving family well is a day by day, minute by minute thing. I can choose to do it well and reap the rewards or I can choose to do it poorly and watch my family slowly crumble. But I can decide to turn it around any second by doing something kind, without expecting anything in return. Enough of these unreciprocated love acts, along with devoted prayer, are bound to turn things around for the better.
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
Lord,
We can love our sometimes crazy family because You first loved us. I am floored when I think of how much love You have for us. It is indescribable.
May Your love fill us so much that it overflows onto our family. I pray we come to understand that we can get all we need from You so we are not asking too much from our family. Guide us to activities that can refresh our souls when we feel all poured out by the end of the day.
Give those who need help in loving family well the courage to seek the Godly support they need.
Amen.