Spiritual disciplines can do nothing. They can only get us to the place where something can be done. Richard J. Foster, Celebration of Discipline
According to Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster, spiritual disciplines are meditation, prayer, fasting, study, simplicity, solitude, submission, service, confession, worship, guidance, and celebration. I’m sure there are even more. I’m so thankful God has given us so many ways to be in His presence!
When thinking about the purpose of disciplines the idea of friendship came to mind. When M was younger he didn’t talk about friends much. As a baby he didn’t have the words and as a toddler he didn’t play with friends, just next to them. As a preschooler he’s beginning to understand the idea and appeal of friendships more. The more time he spends with particular kids, the more he wants to be their friend and hopefully, they want to be his friend too. He spends time with them and learns about who they are to become better friends with them. He talks about them when they’re not around. His mind and ability to make friends has grown a lot.
We can learn some of what it looks like to have a relationship with God from friendships of a child. As adults, the more we grow in our faith the more our desire is to spend time with God and the more He comes up in our conversations because we take steps towards knowing more and more about Him, about who He is and what He cares about. And once you know who He truly is, you’ll understand that He’s the best friend you could have. God always wants to be our friend (or partner with us). It is up to each one of us to decide if we want to be God’s friend or not. Disciplines can help make this spiritual friendship better and deeper.
Good friends and a good relationship with God is not something that is always easy or something that takes no effort. I may have to help teach M how to be a good friend - to be kind, loving, and interested in who the person is. We may have to teach ourselves, with the Holy Spirit’s help, how to do disciplines. The Bible is a great tool and gift from God in this regard. If you've done any kind of discipline in the past but feel like you've fallen away, imagine it like seeing a good friend again after not seeing them for a long time. Pick up right where you left off.
If you can dive deeper into a relationship with God by participating in the disciplines, how can you teach your kids how to do that as well? Kids pick up on things naturally. Do it yourself, in front of them, even when they’re just babies. You’ll get in the habit and you might be surprised by what they start doing themselves before you think they even can. J, as a not-even 1 ½ year old picked up on the pattern of praying before meals and now folds his hands along with us- and even before us- as we pray together. As they get older you can discuss, at greater depth, what each discipline is, why you do it, and different ways you can do it. Training is as important as modeling.
Here are some practical ideas on how to do disciplines with your kids. Pick one and try it out. Then add some more. Perhaps you can even journal about the experience, as a family.
Mediation: Think of a memorable, short phrase that resonates with your whole family. It could be as simple as “God loves me”, “Trust in God”, or “God is bigger than my fears”. In quiet moments in the car, when they’re scared of something, during cooking, during a lull in the conversation at dinner, or as they drift off to sleep repeat the phrase over and over again so it sinks deep into the bones of all who hear. If they ask why you're doing it, you can say you want to be surrounded by Truth.
Here’s another idea - https://contemplativehomeschool.com/2014/01/28/create-guided-christian-meditation-kids-step-step/
Prayer: Write down your kid’s prayers or have them draw them in a special notebook and go back to them once a week at or after dinner to either pray about them more or praise God for answered prayers. Also, pray for eyes to see little pockets of time for prayer like in the car or waiting in line.
Fasting: Fast from food one day a week and talk to your kids about what you're learning about yourself and God through the experience. See if they want to let go of something (sweets, screen time, etc.) in order to spend more time with God. Whenever they want to do that thing, they spend time with God instead.
Study: Pick a Bible story and talk about it in a deeper way. Read the story in different translations and relate it to your life. Check out my Bible story blog posts series for more ideas on going deeper with particular Bible stories.
Simplicity: Donate toys or items and discuss why it’s important to love others and be able to let go of things.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matthew 6:21
Solitude: Have quiet time with your kids where you all are just quietly doing something (Bible verse coloring page, praying, etc.) next to each other.
Submission: "Intentionally model and explain what it means to submit to God and certain others in our lives." (Check out https://www.australianchurchrecord.net/how-to-teach-submission-to-children/)
Service: Find a way to serve outside of your home with your family. Here’s some ideas - https://kidworldcitizen.org/35-service-projects-for-kids/ Don’t let Covid stop you from getting creative with serving others. Pray for ideas and expect God to answer your prayer. Think about what your child is good at or enjoys doing and figure out a way to serve relating to that.
Confession: Talk with your kids about what they and you need to ask forgiveness for. Explain and model how to ask for forgiveness (looking straight in the eyes, using a normal-not whiny or quiet voice, etc.).
Worship: Turn on some worship music and dance and sing together.
Guidance: Pray that God guides your steps as a family. Think of a verse you want to focus on as a family and display it at the dinner table.
Celebration: As a family, write down things you’re grateful for in a special notebook and creatively celebrate how God has moved in and for your family. Perhaps a special treat to celebrate an answered prayer.
Another resource about disciplines - https://www.gatherandgrow.co/how-to-teach-kids-spiritual-disciplines/
Lord, may we continually grow closer to You and deeper in our faith by diving into these disciplines. Give us the courage and wisdom to start now. Give us guidance on how to teach them to our children. Amen.
Please post any ideas on how to do disciplines yourself or with your kids. Thanks!